The Importance of Peer Friendships
Not just a "network," it's about really getting to know people.
Venture capital is a game of building genuine relationships with other people, namely entrepreneurs. But other relationships matter too, like mentors (as I covered in a recent post) and also peer VCs. Of course it’s important to build a broad network of other similar-level VCs for deal-flow exchanges, information gathering, and scuttlebutt sharing. But this post is about more than just superficial networking relationships, but rather more deeply, friendships. Yes, professional peer friendships. People you can really trust, and that’s because you enjoy and do spend meaningful time together.
My partner Rob was part of an organized tight-knit small group of male & female VCs a decade ago which got together both frequently and consistently, and it’s one which I’ve always envied. Not only were their gatherings the typical expense account dinner type thing, but also other fun more informal outings, and even a few long weekend vacations (courtesy a friendly sponsoring law firm picking up some of the tab!). When you spend that kind of time together, you build real connections that you wouldn’t at a cocktail mixer event or even one-on-one coffees. Funny thing, Rob’s group was modeled after a different known group of VCs a half generation further in their careers, who then subsequently spent the past fifteen years (quite successfully!) doing deals together. I am not suggesting that you need to assemble a formal/exclusive club to develop these kinds of bonds, but rather that seeking like-minded individuals to foster true professional friendships takes deliberate and concerted effort, otherwise it may not happen.
What can these types of friendships bring? The first is true support in a profession which is too often a solo sport. A crew that you openly and constructively vent about your firm and situation is worth having. (Because the VC grapevine echoes and amplifies, you don’t want to share too loudly to too broad of an audience or you might develop a detrimental reputation.) Similarly, and more importantly, a trusting small group space where you can be vulnerable to bounce both challenges and ideas to solve them is extremely helpful.
Those benefits might seem apparent, but what might not be earlier in your career is how these foundational friendships grow and endure, becoming quite useful professionally later on. It’s hard for me to understate the significance of this durable mutual trust. While not part of an organized group, I was able to develop genuine friendships with other VCs as my career progressed. The most salient example for myself is that two of these peer friendships became my business partners, as three of us started our own firm NextView together (having not been GPs previously). But there are countless other recent things that has come out of friendships with other non-partner VCs since over a decade ago: introducing one of our hottest unicorns to a now growth equity friend who led a key prominent round, the extremely warm introduction to a special founder who wasn’t a fit for their firm but was for ours, the strong backchannel recommendation about our fund to a potential LP, and an inside caution about a potential co-investor who would have been a bad actor, etc. All of these cases are about trust - knowing the third-party relationship would be treated with care and that the information shared would stay close. It’s hard to replicate that confidence with people you have a superficial relationship with based on a series of meetings at VC networking events.
The final thing to keep in mind is that many of the people who you foster friendships with now won’t be VCs in a decade. The number of partner level roles isn’t as large as non-partner, so everyone is vying to not lose their seat. One of my own closest VC confidants lost the tournament in his firm and was shuffled into a “temporary” operating role which has proved hard to break out of. As important as fellow VC friends are to have, they're most valuable when you’re still in the club.